Hernia's Hot But Periods Are Not
I have been meaning to write this for a while, but have been busy with other things. I suppose in some ways SR, it supplements your post on feminism. While most males (to the best of my knowledge) are rather uncomfortable with such issues, I would love to know what they think about it. So if anyone of you reads it, do send your feedback.
Good girls don't talk about their menstrual periods or the extreme pain quite often associated with it, and specially not in male company. Growing up, it's something you are always taught to hide. So much so, that nobody, not even schools, where adolescents spend most of their time, ever bother to ease the discomfort that puberty brings along for girls.
And so, even as girls start their chums at an increasingly younger age (9-10 is becoming the norm in metros like Delhi), many sadistic schools continue to persist with snow-white uniforms all through the year. It doesn't matter if you are bothered more about staining your skirt than about your classes during those four-five days, no one cares-after all, boys don't chum, do they?
The male reproductive system, on the other hand, is considered good material for polite dinner-table conversation. Men don't think twice about unburdening their prostate and hernia woes even when complete strangers are around (and I am not blaming the world at large, I have seen men in my own family do it), but when they have to refer to female reproductive ailments, an absolute hush descends on them.
All diseases exclusive to women are euphemistically referred to as "female diseases". When a woman has fibroids in her uterus or she suffers heavy bleeding, poor soul she has a female disease. When she suffers a miscarriage or undergoes an abortion, many just say,"Usko gadbad ho gaya hai," instead of referring to the condition.
Sanitary napkin ads are not to be viewed when elders or kids are around (even though they have come a long way from days of yore when Renuka Shahane of Surabhi fame used to embarrassedly tell us mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai, kaise kahoon?) It's not porn, is it? And it's not even as if either my grandfather or I are unaware of this process, but no, neither of us is comfortable watching it in the other's presence. I suppose it is a result of centuries of internalising certain ideas not something that will go away in a day.
Nothing, however, can explain why many families, even today, insist on keeping women out of religious areas and ceremonies and in extreme cases, even out of the kitchen when they are menstruating. So you don't want the entire world to know you are chumming, but when everyone's visiting the Durga Puja pandal, your mother will subtly signal you to stay back. Does anyone get anything out of this except embarrassing the poor girl/woman to death? I suppose in earlier days, women were considered "impure" while menstruating and hence, kept out of religious areas. But really, will God punish me just because I dare to worship Him (or is it Her?) while my body performs a perfectly normal function?
Good girls don't talk about their menstrual periods or the extreme pain quite often associated with it, and specially not in male company. Growing up, it's something you are always taught to hide. So much so, that nobody, not even schools, where adolescents spend most of their time, ever bother to ease the discomfort that puberty brings along for girls.
And so, even as girls start their chums at an increasingly younger age (9-10 is becoming the norm in metros like Delhi), many sadistic schools continue to persist with snow-white uniforms all through the year. It doesn't matter if you are bothered more about staining your skirt than about your classes during those four-five days, no one cares-after all, boys don't chum, do they?
The male reproductive system, on the other hand, is considered good material for polite dinner-table conversation. Men don't think twice about unburdening their prostate and hernia woes even when complete strangers are around (and I am not blaming the world at large, I have seen men in my own family do it), but when they have to refer to female reproductive ailments, an absolute hush descends on them.
All diseases exclusive to women are euphemistically referred to as "female diseases". When a woman has fibroids in her uterus or she suffers heavy bleeding, poor soul she has a female disease. When she suffers a miscarriage or undergoes an abortion, many just say,"Usko gadbad ho gaya hai," instead of referring to the condition.
Sanitary napkin ads are not to be viewed when elders or kids are around (even though they have come a long way from days of yore when Renuka Shahane of Surabhi fame used to embarrassedly tell us mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai, kaise kahoon?) It's not porn, is it? And it's not even as if either my grandfather or I are unaware of this process, but no, neither of us is comfortable watching it in the other's presence. I suppose it is a result of centuries of internalising certain ideas not something that will go away in a day.
Nothing, however, can explain why many families, even today, insist on keeping women out of religious areas and ceremonies and in extreme cases, even out of the kitchen when they are menstruating. So you don't want the entire world to know you are chumming, but when everyone's visiting the Durga Puja pandal, your mother will subtly signal you to stay back. Does anyone get anything out of this except embarrassing the poor girl/woman to death? I suppose in earlier days, women were considered "impure" while menstruating and hence, kept out of religious areas. But really, will God punish me just because I dare to worship Him (or is it Her?) while my body performs a perfectly normal function?
posted by 8 by 52 at 4:46 AM
8 Comments:
I know! This remidns me of two things I wanted to say and forgot (yet again).
1. There was this brilliant essay that's like a hypothetical analysis of what will happen if men started menstruating. "There would be parties celebrating the menarche, medical science would forget about heart disease and invest everything into alleviating pain during chums.
2. The bit about women being taught/conditioned to hide any traces of their sexuality in their adolescent years. Men celebrate their first shave or their voice breaking but remember what we went through during those years?
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Ya!!! I know... Sorry I linked to the wrong blog and forgot to copy my comment....had to do it all over again.
It's true though...even now my mother doesn't let my sister and I do puja when we have our period. I thought that was bad when I heard about ti, when my grandmother was here she wouldn't even let us in the kitchen!! In our own home! And we live in Australia where I would have thought old-fashioned things like this would have vanished. Well, I still do a little prayer even when I can't light the diya lol.
I think in South India they do celebrate when a girl gets her first period. I found his to be highly embarrassing when I first heard about it because who wants the world to know??? But it is a sorta coming of age ceremony...
It still goes to show that we still live in a world where men are consdiered the "normal" ones and women have to hide or be disgraced for their natural functions and behaviour.
Essar: True. Btw, do you have a copy of A Room of One's Won? Remember how Virginia Woolf talks about Shakespeare's fictitious sister Judith?
Silvara: That must be so difficult! To be forbidden from one's own kitchen...Yeah, many states in the south and the north-east do celebrate menarche, but that I feel is more of a fertility ritual than anything else. The girl is now fertile enough to bear (hopefully male) children.
If men started menstruating too, women will never ever hear the end of it.
Two years of MBA will just delay the process of you writing full time....why not just take a shot at it right now.....
Toe Knee: I know, I know.
Vivek: Hmmm... Let's see what happens.
i so totally agree wid u..... i wonder y did god not give these men somethng sooooooooo painful..... if not chums may b smthng lyk where they bleed thru their eyes!!!!!!!!!
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